It’s Not Drug Dealing When The CIA Does It

His visitor, a CIA officer, saw an opportunity, and reached into his bag for a small gift.

Four blue pills. Viagra.

“Take one of these. You’ll love it,” the officer said. Compliments of Uncle Sam.

The enticement worked. The officer, who described the encounter, returned four days later to an enthusiastic reception.

Wow! That sounds like some hardcore drug pushing to me.

“Hey kid! You feeling a little sad? Try one of these pills. It’ll make you feel all better.”

And sure enough it did. Jack knew what he was doing when he gave little Tommy that methamphetamine. Tommy told his friends and then they were hooked, stealing from their parents to support their drug habit.

Now replace Jack with the CIA and Tommy and his friends with the Taliban. Sounds like drug pushing to me. Here’s some more from the article.

For U.S. intelligence officials, this is how some crucial battles in Afghanistan are fought and won. While the CIA has a long history of buying information with cash, the growing Taliban insurgency has prompted the use of novel incentives and creative bargaining to gain support in some of the country’s roughest neighborhoods, according to officials directly involved in such operations.

Oooh. Is that what it’s called now? It’s not drug pushing anymore folks. It’s “novel incentives and creative bargaining”. Well I wonder if Jack could use that in the court of law.

“Your honor, I wasn’t pushing drugs. I was using novel incentives and creative bargaining.”

OK OK OK. Enough. Let’s be real.

The truth of the matter is that the CIA is over there pushing Viagra, and who knows what else, to a bunch of old men who are probably married to 10yo girls. And, the Taliban is no damn better. They’re busy chopping off hands and torturing people to get them to stop growing heroin, yet they’re excited over some pills. These people are very conservative… wait.. abusing drugs, easily bribed, and overly conservative while at the same time condemning others for lesser activities.. THAT’S A DAMN REPUBLICAN.

All this nation wants is legal marijuana. Maybe I should control some supply/trade routes in New York City and marry a 10yo girl. Maybe the US Government will approach me with drugs too.