I love when Above the Influence people say “Studies show…”

I was recently looking at abovetheinfluence.com just for giggles sake because I was really looking for those hilarious “truth” ads. I like the one where there’s 4 young black men in a car, 3 of them are wasted and the driver is ragging on them while talking about how many great things he’s going to do because he’s not using marijuana. It’s my favorite because I find the driver to be quite pathetic in the sense that he can’t find better friends to hang out with. They went to a party, had a great time, and he’s sitting there bored like a jackass.

Then the other commercial that gets me is the one where the girl is sitting on the couch, literally deflated. Somehow, marijuana did that to her. Her friend is ragging on her as well. We go back to the same issue… WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING LAME THAT YOU CAN’T FIND BETTER FRIENDS?

I think, the people behind those ads are a bunch of dumb asses. That I could easily develop better anti-drug PSAs while high really shows the level of their stupidity. Perhaps, what it really shows is just how much they’re lying about marijuana use.

What makes matters worse is that they’re not only dumb asses but they’re damned liars as well.

Just looking over the website, I get to the Q&A and it’s filled with falsehoods and general misinformation. But, the kicker for me has to be the claims they make regarding these scientific studies. And, I am the kind of guy who respects a good scientific study, of course. There are thousands of studies on marijuana and its individual compounds all around the world. The problem that I find is that the folks behind Above the Influence have yet to produce a study that backs up any of their claims.

Now, you can go through my blog and see me make tons of claims. The difference between the claims that we make is that, I can actually back up the shit that I speak on. For example, folks at Above the Influence say that marijuana causes learning disabilities and a number of other issues. They always say “studies show….”

Well, you’re the government sponsored website.. where are the studies that prove what you say?

They don’t exist. I’ll tell you specifically why they don’t exist. That claim is backed up by a study. And, that study, the Tulane/Heath study specifically, has been debunked and rebuked. The goal of the GOVERNMENT sponsored study was to show marijuana killed brain cells. And, they sure as hell proved that marijuana killed brain cells.

But, and here’s the kicker, they did NOT release the actual study for review by other scientists and researchers for, what I believe was 3 years. In that time period, the government ran with that information. They told the world that marijuana killed brain cells, causes learning problems, etc etc etc. However, when the methodology was released……….. STOP THE PRESSES.. THEY DID WHAT TO THOSE MONKEYS?

The study was supposed to last approximately one year. Monkeys were to smoke marijuana joints daily. They’d get tested before and after the trial was over to see differences in learning.

Mind you, they were SUPPOSED to do all that. What did they really do?

These lying bastards hooked the monkeys up to gas masks and basically smoked the monkeys out in 3 months with the amount of marijuana that was supposed to be used in one year. In doing so, they suffocated the monkeys, depriving their brains of oxygen. The marijuana didn’t kill brain cells. Asphyxiation through smoke inhalation killed brain cells.

So, I wonder, when the folks at Above the Influence say, “studies show…”, is this the study that they’re saying shows whatever it is they’re trying to get you to believe? Who knows? The bastards NEVER point to any studies. Where are the independent doctors, scientists, and researchers who actually conduct the studies that prove the bullshit? Dr. Fog? Is that all you have over there at the ONDCP?? A fucking mascot in a white coat?

Remember, there are thousands of studies around the world. But, do yourself a favor and look that shit up for YOURSELF. These “above the influence” websites are run by undereducated mothers who are scared to let their children eat candy more than once a week. They don’t do the research and they come up with these incredibly DUMB ASS ads that are, at best, ineffective and laughable.

The ONDCP should give me the money to come up with those ads. Sure, I’ll lie for you, for the money. But, I’ll want twice what you’re paying the idiots who run the current ads right now. It’s not because I’m lying or going against some moral obligation… BAHUMBUG. It’s because I am that damn good. Of course, I’ll smoke a blunt before I get to work. But, you’ll definitely get some quality advertising with some intelligent thought behind it AND it will actually be effective and not the joke of America.