How to Beat the Police…

1 comment, 09/07/2008, by , in Guide
If you know me, you know I read/watch the news, constantly. I love to see stories about how cops catch criminals. It’s NOT some morbid sense of delight at seeing people go to jail. It’s moreso about me viewing the interactions between perceived criminals and the real criminals, I mean, police officers. One thing I notice is that a lot of people who are caught by police don’t understand how the system works. So, I wanted to throw up a blog about it from my perspective.

Police are not your friends
Unless you called the police, do not see them as your friends. And, in some cases, even when you’ve called them they still aren’t going to be an asset to you. The “serve and protect” motto is a joke. They were not put into place to serve and protect anything. They were put into place to enforce the law. They are not going to help you, AT ALL! They’re job is to catch criminals and if they think you’re a criminal, they will not do you any favors in helping you get home. They want your ass in prison regardless of the truth. They will do whatever they think is necessary to get you into jail.

Stop snitching on yourself
If you’re ever stopped by police officers, all they need to see is your ID, or you tell them who you are and where you live. You don’t have to answer any other questions whatsoever. What you’re doing, who you’re seeing, where you’re going are all PRIVATE INFORMATION. Police officers do not need to know anything else. General suspicion is not a reason for any officer to harass you. In other words, waiting at the bus stop while black is not a crime. If you’re taken into jail for whatever reason, do not say a word beyond ASKING FOR YOUR LAWYER! Call a friend or family member to get you legal representation. The police don’t need to know anything your lawyer doesn’t give you the greenlight to tell them. Remember, anything you say can be used against you in the court of law! Say nothing! The police aren’t smart. They only know as much as you give them. You give them nothing, they’ve got nothing but their imagination.

Remain calm
Police officers have many different tactics to try to put people in jail. One of the best tactics is to agitate the person they want to put into jail. This works well especially with Blacks and Hispanics because we get agitated and angry very easily. We are a group of people, together, that put up with the most shit in this nation so our fuses are short at birth. Police officers will do and say whatever they can to find a reason to escalate a situation. Honestly, I do believe that, most times, police officers deserve to get their asses beat on a daily basis for the authority they abuse. But, it’s not your place to do it at that moment! I’ll tell you when, where, and how to beat their asses eventually.

Do not resist arrest
Too often, I see situations where people resist arrest. They want to argue with police officers as if that is going to help their situation. Most times, it’s out of anger, understandably. But remember what I said earlier, remain calm, the police are not there to serve and protect, they are there to enforce the law, and put you in jail. So, wiggling a little bit as an officer tries to put you in handcuffs won’t help your situation. If you’re resisting or, worse, fighting with police officers, this adds charges. That means even if you did nothing wrong, resisting or fighting with a police officer becomes something wrong. Regardless of how innocent you were before they approached you, you’re NOW guilty of a crime! For the record, I believe it’s a mandatory seven (7) years if you do harm to a public servant – police officer, bus driver, train conductor, etc.

The fight is in the court room
If you really want to beat a police officer, BEAT THE CHARGES. A police officer can’t put you in jail. All they can do is charge you with a crime, that’s their legal weapon against you. If you can defend yourself against their legal weapon, you can beat the police officer. This is why you must first be prepared to understand the mentality of a police officer – they are out to get you. You’ve got to get your mind right as well – police officers are NEVER going to help you.

You have to remember that you are your only defense. Even if you have a lawyer, you should know, understand, and be able to follow everything. You don’t have to learn everything in the law. Learn what applies to you in your situation. Think critically and dynamically about your situation. Put yourself in the shoes of the prosecution and think about how they would get you. Look up previous cases that may apply in your situation. You can learn from those cases as well. Maintain a relationship with your lawyer. Ask questions. Don’t just sit on your ass waiting for the lawyer to get you off. Offer your lawyer help in his/her office if you’ve got the time.

Advanced Lesson
Don’t be afraid of the prosecutor. They can be more of a friend than you realize. Chances are they only have the version the police gave and not your own account. Agree to, or seek to, speak with the prosecution! This is important because this shows that you have nothing to hide. Write down an account of your story so you can remember it for yourself. Give it to the prosecutor so they have an account of what happened that night to counter, or balance, anything the officer might say. This might be helpful in getting the prosecution to beat the police officer for you. If they see you before the actual court date, they can have an idea of what to expect on that day. The prosecution may seek to lessen the charges or even drop the charges altogether.
“Fun” Example
Police Officer: Who you are? Where do you live?
You: State your name! State your address!
PO: What are you doing?
You: I am going to the hospital
PO: You fit the description of someone we’re looking for! Can we search you?
You: Show me the description. (you’re not asking anything unreasonable here)

At this point, you’ve taken control of the situation. You’ve effectively applied your Fourth Amendment right against unreasonable search and seizure. If the officer can’t provide a reason for the search, he has no reason to search you. There’s no reason for any further interaction. Seek to end the interaction by asking if we’re done here or if you can go about your way. If he can show you a description, it’s completely up to you to agree that description matches you. Or, maybe it can be anybody with dark skin and blue jeans. If you deem it to be insufficient, which is up to you, you can still deny the search. You never said you would agree if he showed it to you.

If they do search you anyway, with or without asking, automatic violation of your Fourth Amendment. Whatever they find is not admissible in court because of the illegal search and seizure. Probable Cause doesn’t apply here because they had to ask you first. If they had probable cause, they wouldn’t ask you anything. In court, they’d have to prove probable cause or consent to search to get anything to stick. If they can’t, you’ve just won a lawsuit against the city! Bank it!

Make sure you take note of the time, badge number(s), and note everything that happened when you were illegally searched and the conversation that took place. Immediately file a report with police against that/those officers so that it can go under review. File your lawsuit against the city!

Remember, you don’t need to fight the officer. Let them do what they’re doing.

The fight is always in the court room!


About anthonytaurus

  • Great advice! Too many times when people get stopped by the police, they start immediately actin’ a donkey and end up getting arrested for that instead of just staying cool.